Northern manners v. Southern manners

The South is known for being hospitable and polite. The North-- isn't. But I beg to differ. The criteria for being polite in the South is just different than being polite in the North. Let me explain.


Northern children are taught please and thank you just like Southern children. However, in the South you have to add "ma'am" and "sir" after all your pleases and thank yous. Someone who was born in the North and moved South while they were still in grade school was telling me once how confused they were when they'd say please to their teachers and their teachers would counter, "Please, what?" They had no idea what the teacher was talking about because in the North there is no need to include ma'am or sir after everything. It's not impolite, it's just streamlining. Yankees like to get to the point. We don't like to dilly-dally. 


Part of being polite in the South is wasting your time talking to people you don't want to talk to. For instance, if you are somewhere-- the mall, a festival, even the gas station-- and someone is trying to sell you something-- a vacation package, a new vacuum, even their religion-- you are obligated to  look interested, nod your head, politely say no thank you at least 11 times before excusing yourself for good and throwing away their pamphlet or the latest copy of "The Watchtower" in private. 


Some real life examples. We went to the Atlanta BBQ Festival when we first moved here and I tried my darndest to avoid the people selling cell phone plans and vacation packages. The cell plan girl actually yelled at me for trying to avoid her. Up North, we have an understanding that you pretend that the person actually didn't see you or  you simply mutter "bitch" under your breath and move on to the next target. But noooo, Handsome drags me over to cellphonegirl and we said "no thank you" a half a dozen times and before finally moving on. Then a vacation package hawker reeled Handsome in and we stood there listening to his schpeel for 15 minutes or so before turning him down and moving on. This is a waste of time for everyone! You're wasting my time blabbering on about your product or religion, I've tuned you out, I'm bored, you're not making a sale. Waste. Of. Time. 

When I used to travel for work and we'd get to certain cities, my co-workers would remark how polite people in the city were. I never understood it. It matters to other people whether or not strangers on the street wave, say hello and smile. I don't really care. Sometimes it's nice, especially if it's your actual neighbors, but I don't think it makes someone impolite if they just want to be left alone. In fact, I think it's polite to leave someone alone who wants to be.

I've also noticed that myself and other Yankees talk fast, over each other and will interrupt without thinking. In my family-- it's the only way to get a word in. Handsome actually said after spending time with my mom and her sisters he feels like he understands me and my ways a lot better. In the South, a story can go on for an hour and a pause can be a full minute. If you talk during this "pause" you're rude. Well I think it's rude that you can't condense your thoughts down and spit it out. A conversation with a Northerner is like a game of ping pong. Thoughts go back and forth rapidly like a ping pong ball over the net. In the South it's more like baseball. It's slow, each talker has a turn when they're "at bat" and you better not try to talk when it isn't your turn. Yankees can also be more abrupt than Southerners. We're not trying to be rude, we're trying to be polite and save everyone time. 

I'll give it to the Southern gentlemen for their manners. I cannot tell you how many times a Yankee jackass has not only not held a door open for me, but let it slam in my face. So manners are important. Say please, say thank you, open a door for someone. Northerners in the South, exercise your patience, it's a lot more slow moving down here. Southerners, please be understanding, we're not trying to be rude, we're just a faster-paced people, trying to save us all some time.